so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Dicks are not precious.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
