You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Actions speak louder than pants.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
