Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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