Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
