just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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