um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I could fuck to npr.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
