i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
