This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
