dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
You have to summon your inner elephant
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
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