Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Jerry, you need to find god
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
