All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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