I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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