we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
