if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
