So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
