Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Randomize
