You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize