We're like a lot better than the average bears
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
