How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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