Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
