quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Randomize
