i would punch a child for taco bell
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
My vagina just clenched in fear
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
