Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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