I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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