It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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