guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize