I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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