The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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