this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
