Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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