I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
