just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
