So drunk, too bad you don't want this
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
