If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
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