Heybabeimwearingurpanties
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Randomize
