how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
cat food counts as protein by the way
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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