I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
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