I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Randomize
