I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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