i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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