I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Will exercising make me less horny?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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