How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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