hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
My cat gives me a boner
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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