where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Randomize