I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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