I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Pooping to opera.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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