Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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