Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize