READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
