Cold hands, warm shart.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
