What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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