My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Randomize
