Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize