I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
