If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
