Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Randomize
