drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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