We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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