Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
